Tuesday, March 20, 2007

the end of an era

17/03/07
Hey! This is nothing fancy or historic. I am changing my phone number that’s all. It does hurt, saying farewell to my airtel number. It has stood by me thru thick and thin. It has taught me lots of lessons, relieved me of lot of problems, troubled me horribly too, gave me lot of new friends of whom I was not aware of, outside the world of connectivity, the list goes on. And because of all this history we shared, I feel like giving it a befitting farewell. No offence dear number, but I am a customer and when I lose satisfaction in the services provided, I got to look for new pastures. That’s what I am doing. Plus two years is a long time to spend with a mobile number. I have not spent that much time even with my boyfriend. This means I have given you more importance than anything in my life. I fed you with all the recharges available. And whenever you cried because of your hunger, I starved myself to feed you. I entered the world of groveling, poverty, borrowing, but I never let go of you. Be it, when I am eating, bathing, sleeping, walking, every moment of my life, I have kept you close to my heart, listening to your heartbeat. Dear number, I depended on your happiness for mine. Well let’s not overdo it. People, I think you must have got the whole idea. Till the next era begins (till I find the next good connection, the search is on), its bi bi for me from the world of connectivity.

an important realisation

21/01/07
Sometimes there are occasional reminders in ur lives which makes u realize that the time allotted to u and ur loved ones is very less on this earth. This happened especially once when my father talked to me last night. I told him that when he grows old and invalid, he is going to face a lot of trouble cos he is so egoistic and has this great pride in himself of not being dependant on anybody. He replied saying that he is of different material and would die rather than depending on anybody for his need. This came as a rude shock to me cos now that its his upper middle age, the time when he would come to such a stage is coming soon. Youth is not for forever.
What’s to be understood is that being dependant on ur loved ones, with hand to hold, a shoulder to rely on, is nothing degrading. It is a reward for a lifetime, for a person who is worked for his family all his life. A chance for his family to pay back. Hope dad realizes it.
What I understood is that when ur loved ones leave u forever, u realize the vast impression they leave in ur lives, their gift of time to u, their love. Felt that way when my granddad left, my friends left for other schools, the time spent with them I would always treasure….

an extract from a book

20/01/07
A thought transfixed me for the first time in my life. I saw the truth, as it is sent into a song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth that, love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry, human thought and belief have to impart: the salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when a man cant express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way- an honorable way- in such a position man can thru loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, “The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory.”
I knew only one thing- that I have learnt well by now. Love goes far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.
“Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death.”

my thoughts on love

16/03/07
Here are some shayaris which m very sure only folks who know hindi will understand. But others don get disheartened cos there are more tid-bits coming up from the drifter… Wrote them thinking about all the hearts I have broken. They’ll mend I know but what about me, the sinner?? Ah the pain of being in love n then getting out of it is something. Try it out people.

Dil jale meri aahon se
Mere mehboob ke pukar me
Mohabath ye meri mauth hai
Diwane samajhthe hain, yeh jan hai

Aankhon se ashk yun gire
Jalna jalana to khel hai
Har baar pyar ek dokha
Magar ye dal dal zindagi hai

Is pagalpan ne maar dala
Hai is pyar ke jhaunke ne
Khuda ne bhi kya ajeeb khel khela
Kambakt ishq ko janm diya
Banaya ise yahan ka riwaj
Jo hume mare aur hum mare

Mauth mile use
Jo aise na mare
Ye jaaam me jo nasha hai
Dua karoon,ye sabko mile

Ye jhalak hai mere dil ki
Sunlo diwano,dilwalon
Pyar karna ek saza hai
Is gunah ko apnalo

Tumhein ye dil shauk se de dun
Tumhari ye dosthi mein shauk se jhel lun

Is dil ki galiyon me aya karo
Kadmon se rah ko chuma karo
Ye dil tumhara ho jaye
Tum is kadar jo hume chaha karo

Ret par naam likha karte nahin
Ret par naam tika karte nahin
Log hume kehte hain pathar dil
Pathar par se naam kabhi mit tha nahin

Anjan ajnabee se mulakat hui
Aankhon hi aankhon mein duri mit gayi
Khoobiyon se to pyar hota hi hai
Mohabbath ho gayi aapki kamiyon se bhi

Uthre jo aapke dil ki gehrayi me
Mehfil ke bhi tanhayiyon me
Dhoondha aapko is tarah
Dekhne lagi aapko apni hi parchayiyon me

Sapnon me khoye rehte the
Hum bhari jagahon me akele the
Aapke ane se duniya itni badli
Bhari jagahon me kya, akelepan me bhi
Hum apke khyalon me mehfus hain

Dil ka kya, kabhi idhar to udhar
Mohabbath ka kya, kabhi milna to kabhi khona
Magar aye yaar teri dosthi
Rahe humesha saath me, na is par na us par