My Bloody Bleeding Heart

Adolf Hitler’s invasion of Poland in September 1939 drove Great Britain and France to declare war on Germany, marking the beginning of World War II. 

Why should anyone of us think that the situation right now with #IsraelPalestine is any less triggering? As we go on with our normal lives, is the loss of HUMAN lives in Palestine/ Israel any less important? I mark the word intrinsic to us in caps. I had to.  

Loss and lack of human dignity anywhere in the world should be close to home, close to our identity as HUMAN BEINGS. Can we all stop thinking like our lives are untouched??? As there is a social media upheaval on social media with two sides constantly debating on what's more horrendous, I feel conflicted as a consumer of social media. 

Would it have been better if I were only exposed to creative outlets focusing on fine arts, music and crafts? Yes, to my sensitive mind, all the mindful actions on propagating our fine senses, imagery and colors would have been enough. However, the social media algorithm seems more persistent on exposing me to the ugly reality which is happening outside of my pretty and somewhat curated sensibilities. 

As a person with rather sensitive predilections, what goes on outside my imagination, in the real world, affects me. Given all that I have been noticing with the crisis in Middle East, my layperson understanding of the same, I cannot ignore the same.

I realize that the prelude to my dilemma as a human being is somewhat extensive (write that off to the romantic at heart), how can we really focus on anything but this crisis? Human rights violations have become commonplace I agree. Perhaps the social media algorithms (I say AI) have become immune to the daily sufferings. But we HUMAN BEINGS  still have the WRIT and by that I mean we still have the consciousness to separate right from wrong. 

How can we ignore the heart rending sights from Gaza and Israel? If owners of those profiles meant for my heart to bleed, they have done the job. My heart bleeds at the sight of tragedy (Explaining it, seems trivial and pointless). 

How can we do this to each other? And how can we still all act as if everything is hunky dory? It is beyond me. 

Oh I know, politics is in everything (I do not live under a rock). But can we stop for a second, say a prayer for the unfortunate? And pray very hard that peace be on all of us living and dead? Pray that we are protected from our worst instincts and hope that the unknown power upstairs continues to forgive us for this latest travesty? 

Needed an outlet for my outrage and profound sadness. Thanks to the internet for providing this space. 

 If this is not the time to think of others what's it really then??

Signing off as a HUMAN being

Undone

 In a place so wide, so wild,

Silence being the only sound

Silence and the whistling air

They ring like the chime of a Gompa’s bell

They chant like the prayers from a monk’s lips

And within me, the hum and buzz grows

Raising me up to the endless snow line,

To the sandy peak that speaks of isolation

To the valleys beyond, that portray long journeys.

Feeling unbound and unchained,

At the mercy of my will,

To not falter with every step I take.

My every breath, not my own

But a debt to my future

To a future that asks for mindfulness

These mountains have gotten me undone, I am lost.

I came for answers but now I have questions.

I sought for peace but now I am conflicted.

Looking for the otherworldly feeling, this place shook me up.

These mountains have gotten me undone.

How easy it was to have planned this journey,

But now after having made it,

Nothing should ever be the same again.

Ideally!!

Yearning to Fall

What is that strange light in the end?
Luring you in like a moth to a flame?
Filled with tantalising promises 
Promises of glory, brilliance and fantasy

And yet something sane holds you back
Keeps you from burning up like Icarus
Side to side oscillating like a pendulum
You are forever left standing on that ledge

It's that spark slyly reflected back to you in the mirror
It's those dreams calling out to you mid-sleep
It's those emotions rearing for you to take leaps of faith
It's that understanding that you are leading only a half life

So would you go fulfill this crazy urge?
Would you dare to take that adventurous trip into the unknown?
Or do you keep it locked in?
Forever looking down into the abyss, yearning to fall in?

Fly on the Wall

Felt like a spectator all my life
From the outside looking in
Watching from afar as histories made and lives lived
Witnessing my stead both joy and grief

Attempts made to mingle alon
Laughing when I was dying inside
Sober as laughter threatened to rip through
This game I played, for far too much time

Mask upon mask I wore with time
Played my roles to the T
All the while wondering inside
Is there any point to such play acting?

Crowded rooms stifling me throughout
The me inside me reduced to an amorphous blob
Every atom in me torn to bits
Shaken and stirred like an incongruent cocktail

And as I painstakingly put the pieces back
With the knowledge of a thousand lives lived
All those games and all those lies
Pointing me towards an undeniable truth

That maybe this insane desire to fit in
Was a rite of passage perhaps?
An attempt to help me value my singularity?
To be the spectator and not the player

To be that speck invisible yet present in the moment
Armed with the power to be circumspect
Watching silently as secrets unveiled and truths revealed
Quietly being that fly on the wall.... 

Looking for Safe Spots...

Looking for the yellow, red or black boxes
For what has been convenient,
What has been advised
Always looking for these boxes to tick,
Spaces to fill..
Mindless representations and mindless decisions.
When has it ever been for sheer honesty?
As clear as the water in a spring brook,
Or as clear as the touch of a guileless puppy?
Where, you do not lie to yourself?
Or tell yourself, all is well!!
Where you do not fear the wrath of power and consequences?
Spots of all colors are available for your choice.
Blue, yellow, green, red and orange.
Square of self imposition and self importance.
When are you to be the wave on the water?
The color outside lines?
Fluid, boundless and limitless,
Flowing as you deem fit?
When the grasp for free air?
Gasp!!
And when the feeling of owing noone for what's right?
What's right?
Is it like waves on the water with unseen whirlpools?
Or something familiar and something safe?

Jungles so Grey!!

Where dinos roamed
And elephants gallivanted,
New giants have emerged,
Of nuts and bolts, of glass and steel.

High rises standing straight,
Protect us better than trees, from rain and shine.
Cement droppings and sewage puddles,
Lie about in lieu of meadows and streams.

Monster trucks romp about.
So do potholes, dust and exhaust fumes.
These are the predators of a new age.
Covert & overt, they lurk around.

In search of disappearing habitats,
Bees and birds find comfort in concrete
As is the case with pests and pets!
Is nature taking over?

Once where colours appeared through prism of rainbows,
Now you see them brightly reflected in oil spills.
Once where animals were adorned by feathers and horns,
Comes new fangled fashion of plastic chokers and metal piercings!!

Who said that jungles are disappearing?
They have just changed form!!

Left Behind

Leaves they shed as seasons go by
Countless layers with flying time
Peeling each one back, I see
The ravages of time or an improvement perhaps.

Yesterday plays a beautiful lullaby
Beckoning me forth to the warm cocoon of nostalgia
While today sways from good to bad
Maybe the morro holds true hope?

What I was to what I will be
A timeline marked by endless moments
Moments, always holding court
Taking me further away from reality, the now!

My mirror from past paints a picture
Hurriedly I rub the dirt away
Worried that dirt's all that survived
That the chinks shine through all the glow

Today calls me silly
Silly since I am already a pretty picture
I could try harder
But I will be what I am, what I was

To make peace is a dream
Acceptance is likely the path
Seasons it's taken for truth to emerge
All the leaves, the mulch and dirt gets left behind.