Yearning to Fall

What is that strange light in the end?
Luring you in like a moth to a flame?
Filled with tantalising promises 
Promises of glory, brilliance and fantasy

And yet something sane holds you back
Keeps you from burning up like Icarus
Side to side oscillating like a pendulum
You are forever left standing on that ledge

It's that spark slyly reflected back to you in the mirror
It's those dreams calling out to you mid-sleep
It's those emotions rearing for you to take leaps of faith
It's that understanding that you are leading only a half life

So would you go fulfill this crazy urge?
Would you dare to take that adventurous trip into the unknown?
Or do you keep it locked in?
Forever looking down into the abyss, yearning to fall in?

Fly on the Wall

Felt like a spectator all my life
From the outside looking in
Watching from afar as histories made and lives lived
Witnessing my stead both joy and grief

Attempts made to mingle alon
Laughing when I was dying inside
Sober as laughter threatened to rip through
This game I played, for far too much time

Mask upon mask I wore with time
Played my roles to the T
All the while wondering inside
Is there any point to such play acting?

Crowded rooms stifling me throughout
The me inside me reduced to an amorphous blob
Every atom in me torn to bits
Shaken and stirred like an incongruent cocktail

And as I painstakingly put the pieces back
With the knowledge of a thousand lives lived
All those games and all those lies
Pointing me towards an undeniable truth

That maybe this insane desire to fit in
Was a rite of passage perhaps?
An attempt to help me value my singularity?
To be the spectator and not the player

To be that speck invisible yet present in the moment
Armed with the power to be circumspect
Watching silently as secrets unveiled and truths revealed
Quietly being that fly on the wall....